Words They Mean Nothing

You know looking back at all the words I've spoken, at all the promises I've made; no matter how well intentioned any of it was, they mean nothing without action. You know people make such bold promises, "I will love you forever, I will never lie to you, I will never cheat on you, I will always be there for you". What a crock!! There are no absolutes, how dare people say WORDS as though there are. I am guilty of this, we all are. What frightens me the most though, is the fact that most people WON'T ever notice the very BLATANT lies they tell. I know, I've seen first hand the destructive force of these lies. I know they don't feel like lies when you say them and in the moment, you may even mean every word...we find such inventive ways these days to say these absolutes, via texts, e-mail, video chats, chat rooms, messenger, skype, picture messaging..so many ways to say the same thing but not enough ways to show that you MEAN it!! What a shame!!

If you think that people don't notice the difference, then you're either blind, they're blind, or they love you too much to bring it up for FEAR of endangering what little they may actually have. People should NEVER be in fear of their relationships. All is fair in love and hate they say, well I say there is NO SUCH THING AS FAIR!! People simply have no idea what fairness is anymore, or even right for that matter. I sure as hell spent my twenties thinking I was being fair and you know what, I wasn't!! I fell into the same stupid trap of absolutes. Admit to yourselves that nothing lasts forever and maybe you have a chance of living honestly and openly. We cannot fear that things will end, only to waste all the time we could be cherishing what we have. How is that worthwhile?

You know what I want? I want to move forward openly and honestly. I want to do things to show how I feel. I'm not the most romantic person out there but you know what? Big gestures don't always have to be the way, the small things matter so much more. This whole blog has been sparked by my reading an e-mail I sent to an ex. What a crock!! Empty promises because obviously she is gone and I am alone. I began reading all of it and you know what I feel today, I feel like a poser. Giving away promises like they were dime store candy. I want to do better. I want more!! Don't you? Don't be afraid to demand more from your partner, friends, coworkers, whatever. Life isn't about wasting away with the things you don't want. It's about trying to find a balance with the things you do want and those you cannot change. So as I live i'm gonna do better, be better. No empty promises to try and fix something. How about do the right thing from the start, so you won't have a problem to fix.

Difficult? yes. Doable? very. Easy? Hell No!! But we all have to start somewhere and my journey begins with being honest with myself about my own shortcomings. This way I can fix them. I believe that I am much more emotionally stable than say 5 yrs ago for example, have a much better understanding of myself, there is so much to learn but if you have an open mind, a willing heart and a fierce desire to grow as a person, I believe nothing can stand in your way. I have made mistakes and make no mistake, I will make many more. But I understand and accept that and promise to grow from each and perhaps somewhere along the way, I'll find someone to accompany me along this journey so that we may grow together.

The road less traveled...